Jihad on Groundhogs

The other day I went out into the garden around 11am to check on some seeds and as I was walking up I saw a fat groundhog strolling through the watermelon patch! About a month ago I noticed that a few of the watermelon vines were chewed off and I thought it was a rabbit....but we haven't seen any rabbits around because there are so many foxes. NOW I know...it was a groundhog! I yelled and started running towards him picking up a shovel along the way, he freaked and tried to run as fast as his tiny legs and huge body could. We've blocked most of the garden with rocks at the base of the fence so he had to run a while before finding an opening. I got about 4 feet away before he squeezed out, ran a few feet, looked back and then gave me the finger. I swear.

While in the garden he chewed on 8 tomatoes, squash leaves and bean plants. The most irritating part is that he didn't even eat anything, he just chewed on it or sunk his teeth in and left tomatoes all over the ground. What a dick! At least the deer eat stuff! Groundhogs are just vandals. Keying cars and ruining tomatoes for the hell of it.

Then today I was in the kitchen when I looked up and saw his chubby self chilling under the apple tree. I busted outside and the wind was blowing so hard he didn't even notice I was blazing toward him (again, no plan, just running to scare him and honestly just to see if I could catch up) but when he did notice he booked it down the driveway with me behind him. I definitely run faster which is good to know. Faster than a groundhog, slower than a cheetah. He took cover in the brush across the street and looked back when he realized I wasn't chasing him anymore. Then he gave me the finger, I swear.

May the blood of the groundhog infidels run through the streets! Just kidding, I'm going to trap it and release it somewhere else. They only come out during the day so it's not as bad as worrying about deer. I came home after dark the other day to discover a motley crew of them peeping into the garden. They shrugged me off when I flashed my brights so I decided that speeding through the yard after them while honking my horn was necessary. I can't speak for them but I had a great time.

We put cages up around all of the tomatoes, it didn't stop the groundhog from having his way but hopefully the plants will grow taller than his height inside them.

He knocked off a bunch of cherry tomatoes and didn't even touch them! Ugh, such a waste!

Louis finished his screen door project and it has made a world of difference on the porch! No more wasps, flies and butterflies buzzing around in there. 

The door is really pretty, I'm glad we refinished an old one instead of buying new. 

Some neighbors stopped by on Sunday to introduce themselves and bring us canned gifts from their garden! I can't WAIT to try them! They've lived in the house next to us for almost 30 years and have an amazing garden.

A few of our other neighbors who ride horses every evening asked to ride around on our property. I said yes so now I get to look out of the kitchen window and see this when I'm making dinner-

The floor people came and applied the last coat of laquer and added the final trim around the edges.

It looks pretty in the kitchen-

I'm going to paint it to match the white trim around the house. 

In painting news, I picked a color and hated it on the walls. It looked greyer and darker on the swatch but screamed "baby boy blue" on the walls. 

No thanks. I'm going back to HD later for a re-do. 

In garden news, things are growing very well now that we've started to get rain. The corn hits me at chest height now and the sad half row of soy beans is almost all the way back. 

We're seeing how big this zucchini can get before we pick it. I'm aiming for toddler size just to see if it can be done. 

The lima beans I planted last week are sprouting. They look like aliens.

The yellow squash is just now starting to come around.

I kept noticing this HUGE flying bug in the garden that seemed to be landing and crawling into the ground. It's really loud and looks like a giant, elephantitis wasp. I researched it and discovered that it's a "Cicada Killer". They're about 3 inches long, they live in burrows in the ground and they paralyze cicadas and feast on them down there! 

They scare the crap out of me, I could barely look at that picture long enough to upload it.  One has burrowed under a watermelon plant. I tapped at the weird mound of dirt with a rake and it came crawling out all pissed. I ran closer to cheetah speed back to the porch. 

Despite crazy bugs, groundhogs and deer peeping Toms, the watermelons are growing bigger everyday. 

The cantaloupe is also coming in and the sunflowers are shin high. Not bad for being planted last month. 

I've gotta run and finish painting, hopefully I'll find the right shade of blue this time!

Painting Pressure and Plumbing Problems

We've had a pretty interesting few days- toilet waste has exploded out of the laundry room floor three times. Three. Times. When I scrapped the previous floorplan and made a new one adding a half bath upstairs, that half bath plumbing got tied into the existing line running from the kitchen sink down to the laundry room sink and washer & dryer. This shouldn't have been a problem. One day a worker was cleaning his tools in the laundry room sink and water shot out of the drain in the middle of the floor. It was just water so no one was worried. Must be a simple block on that line, nonchalant shrugs and everyone continued with their day. Once the half bath was in operation was when the shit literally hit the laundry room.

I'd mentioned to Louis not to use the laundry room sink (he doesn't recall this) so one weekend morning while I was still sleeping peacefully, Louis started yelling. I was awakened from my dreams of huggable goats and massive tomatoes to expletives about toilet paper and poop shooting out of the floor. Awesome.

Louis cleaned it up and disinfected the floor and we thought, "OK seriously, NO MORE using the sink in here, it's gotta be a sink-pipe issue that causes this"...then when the contractors showed up on Monday morning and used the half bath, it happened again, only worse. At least we figured out that it wasn't just a sink issue! They spent a whole day snaking the system and checking it to make sure that it would drain properly, then they gave us the green light that we were good to go, yay! SO- tonight I used the kitchen sink to wash a few dishes, we used the half bath (since the master is still being worked on and the one we normally use downstairs is gross in a hostel kinda way) and THEN we went downstairs to see that more sewage water had filled the laundry room. NOW, I'm concerned. "Wow, you guys your house looks so nice! Too bad it smells like shit and you can't use the kitchen sink."

They're tackling the issue again tomorrow. This time I'm going to make them test it before leaving! 

Other than poop spewing out of the laundry room we're pretty much done with the contractors. They need to touch up a few things here and there but the majority of the work is done. Painting is the stress of the moment. We need to prime and paint every ceiling and wall in the house- not an easy feat. The work itself is easier than making the color choices in my opinion. I'm wallpapering the half bath and looking at wallpaper makes me want more of it! 

This is what I'm going with for the half bath- 

I saw that swatch in Southern Living, it was love at first sight. I'm also thinking of wallpapering the wall of the dining area to make it stand out. I saw this swatch today at a little wallpaper and paint shop in town-

It has a shine to it that's just beautiful. I'm going to apply some kind of painting technique to the main room that encompasses the hallway and the colors of this wallpaper would go very nicely. 

Painting is going well so far. Louis is just about done priming the master, I've already done the bathrooms and I'm currently working on the pantry. It's got a beadboard back so it's taking a lot longer than I'd anticipated. BUT, it's going to look great. I found a box of pantry items and am adding them as the paint dries. I'm desperate for some semblance of normalcy! 

 

My favorite thing about this pantry is that the upper shelves are all only 6 inches deep which means there can only be one row of anything, turning me into the deranged OCD husband in Sleeping with the Enemy. I love it.

The pantry is pretty big but throw a step stool, a fan and me bending over to grab a brush and you get-

SOUL PATROL! I have what I like to think is a sophisticated white streak of hair at the moment. Shoot me if I start playing the harmonica and taking myself seriously.

How about a watermelon babies update?! Here we go!

They're almost doubling in size! The one above is the biggest.

I planted all different kinds and didn't have the materials to label them before I forgot what went where so it'll be a surprise when they're ripe!

I almost forgot to share some startling news....I honestly didn't think this would ever happen BUT, today in the garden I discovered that 9 of my soybean plants were eaten down to the ground and there were fresh deer tracks all around. A DEER JUMPED THE 8 FOOT FENCE! And apparently it just wanted a little edamame snack and jumped back out. Nothing else was touched.

There are two electric wires running along the top (you can see them on the upper right of the picture above) that we just hadn't turned on yet but guess what we're hooking up tomorrow? Last night I watched a deer hop on its hind legs for 20minutes to eat pears from the tree in our front yard so I guess they do whatever they have to.  I'm really hoping that there aren't any deer sneaking around the garden as I'm in here typing this. I already ran out twice trying to catch and scare one but I'm pretty much just scaring myself in the process. Have you run out into the pitch black in the country lately? It's hardcore.

It's butterfly time apparently because they are everywhere right now and unfortunately they're getting trapped in the porch daily. We don't have the door hooked up yet so they get blown in and can't find their way out. They fight me when I coax them so the only solution is to catch them and throw them back out. Here are a few-

There's hundreds of these smaller brown and yellow ones so a lot have died in the porch. They may be moths, no idea. I'm looking for a shadow box to put some in. 

I saw the scariest, weirdest looking bug EVER today and made the mistake of showing Louis who got scared and wanted to kill it, shocker. I have no idea what it is but I hope it does something useful because I saved its life.

On a brighter note, I'm buying a lot of cherries right now because its fun to spit seeds of things when you can walk around and spit them anywhere you want. I found a happy cherry in the mix! 

I'll end this blog with a picture of the prettiest sunset clouds I've seen in a while.

A/C Love and Snake Hate Crimes

It's still crazy hot outside which is why I about fainted when the contractors told me the A/C was on upstairs. Granted, we aren't living upstairs yet, but we're still grateful! All the house work was supposed to have been completed by last week but there have been little things here and there that have delayed the process. I'm hoping the Money Pit mantra of "two weeks" will actually apply here!

The big step in the last few days was the kitchen faucet going in and the master shower door and mirror getting installed. We chose the higher end option for the faucet and the shower door and it really has made a difference. I just like staring at the kitchen faucet. It's so pretty and since we're always covered in dirt and sweaty these days it takes me to a place in my mind where everything is nicer and cleaner!

We've been told we can use the master shower if we want but things are still in disarray in there, dust all over, hammers and caulking guns laying around so I'll wait. It wouldn't do the shower justice!

The mirror-

They're coming back to replace that outlet cover with a mirrored one, the sconces will all be installed next week and I'm going to frame the mirror myself with trim from HD.

Louis bought a table saw and we're going to make the screen door I found fit into the porch opening by shaving it down an inch. Hopefully we don't screw it up too bad!

We met with a landscaper about what we can do to make the property look better and quickly realized how expensive landscapers are. SO- I bought some half priced hydrangeas and did a little landscaping job of my own with free mulch from the local dump. I'm just going to work my way around the house planting whatever I can this year and hopefully get a jump on it next spring. 

You know those people who make you look at tons of pictures of their newborn babies? So annoying right? Well I'm getting like that with my baby watermelons so enjoy the newest pics!

See the tiny green watermelon directly below my shoe? There are tons all over the field now! I decided to start watering them every night instead of every other night since it's so dry and now they're going crazy. 

The blooms and baby watermelons they leave behind just keep coming! At least someone is enjoying the heat wave. 

Things are going well in the garden save for two plants. Eggplant and Artichoke. Those are my two unruly goth teens who skulk about all day and refuse to tell me what's wrong. 

Eggplant-

 

Eggplant is a handful. It says it likes full sun but looks miserable and refuses to bloom. 

Artichoke-

The picture says it all. Pathetic. Again, it says it likes full sun but won't grow and mopes around. I have two so I may dig one up and try growing it in a container on the porch where everything is thriving. 

I spend most of my garden time with the goal of keeping things alive and yet the day that I go out to run errands and leave Louis and Farmer John unattended is the day I return to hear a horrible story....

Here's the thing- since moving to the farm I've tried to let things live that in the city I wouldn't have. Spiders live because they eat the flies, weird bugs live because they feed the frogs and while I expect to run across a snake any day I would just turn and walk away because snakes are very useful on a farm or anywhere really. Snakes eat mice and rats and unlike some of our neighbors, we haven't seen any mice or rats around or in the house. Sure, I'd kill a poisonous snake like a copperhead but not a garter or black snake. Those are worth gold out here! 

So back to the story- I walk in from my errand and Louis chirps. "Me and Farmer John killed a huuuge black snake in the barn! We shot it!" 

Me: Why did you kill it? 

Louis: I dunno, it scared us. 

Me: *eyeroll* and *sigh* 

Poor snake. Louis promised not to kill anymore and hopefully we won't see any mice now that the big snake that was probably dining on them all is gone. 

I've seen a ton of deer recently, in the picture below you can barely make them out but two deer are in the field behind the house. We let the grass grow because Farmer John is supposed to put some horses back there any day now. Until then, it's a deer playground. 

Summer Solstice Sans A/C

Today was the longest day of the year and damn was it hot. Turns out, this June has been the hottest on record in this area. It also happens to be the June that we're spending without air conditioning in a basement on a farm, nice. We do have a little portable unit that we stand in front of and aim directly at us while we sleep.

We wouldn't have survived the almost 100 degree weather and extreme humidity of this week without it. I would have cracked and been at a hotel in town. There's drywall next to the air conditioner because the contractors had to cut open the ceiling in our little room to fix a problem. Louis was taking a nap and woke up with a yell when he saw our three main contractors standing next to the bed staring at the ceiling. They didn't even notice he was there when they walked in so they yelled when he yelled. Wish I had it on tape! 

Today was a big day because the countertops arrived! Two Chinese brothers do the delivery and installation for the company we're working with. They both wore back braces which made it seem like they were going to jump on each others shoulders and do a Circ du Soleil routine at any minute. Here they are carrying it in-

Here's a picture of Jeff (our main contractor) at the island-

I'm LOVING the granite. It brings in all the whites, creams and browns in the kitchen. It's like the rug from the Big Lebowski, it just pulls the room together. And now, let's take a minute and enjoy a few gratuitous White Spring granite pics-

OooOooOOoo!

Aaaahhhhh!

Yeah!

When they were going to set the counters they noticed that the cabinets weren't level at the ends near the double oven and the fridge. FYI- there were lots of quirky issues during cabinet install because neither the ceilings or floors in the house are level, they wave all over the place. SO- the cabinet guy has to come back out....no kitchen for us just yet. BUT countertops are half the battle!

On a positive note, almost all of the plumbing is done! CQ has been working away to install all the toilets, sinks and the tub faucet that I am in love with. If anyone needs me, you can find me sitting in the tub, likely fully clothed. I just like it there! The tub faucet is so pretty-

The telephone sprayer is awesome!

The half bath is ready to go now which means my search for wallpaper is game ON. Only problem is, I have no idea where to shop for wallpaper. Online forums can't be trusted. I need to see samples. 

I'm really happy with the way that floor came out and I'm glad I went with a new pedestal sink from HD instead of trying to refinish an old one. That might have taken forever. 

Lots of wallpaper area in there, as you can see, so I need to pick something good. My battle is to find something classic, farm-y, garden, bird or floral but not girlie. 

The full shared bath is also ready to go now which means I'm on the hunt for a shower curtain and rod. Sounds like a nice excuse to go outlet mall shopping during the hottest part of the day tomorrow, yay!

CQ also installed the master bath pump-style faucets and I'm super excited to use them! 

The mirror is getting installed tomorrow as well as the lighting fixtures. Speaking of lighting fixtures, here's the kitchen chandelier with bulbs we finally remembered to buy-

I'm still tinkering around with my jar lights for the pantry and I'm getting close! I'm really enjoying making my own lighting fixture. 

I got the rest of the supplies I needed today and then had to decide between the big jar or the small ones. I ended up choosing the small ones because they look cuter in a cluster of three and they are jars given to me by my mom last summer when she canned beets. See mom? Your legendary beets will live on! 

The little light bulbs I got are the perfect size. Here's a sneak peek of two jars whose wires I have yet to wrap. 

The terra cotta pots in the picture are my porch herb garden. They love it out there and are all thriving. I think it's the compost-tea I've been drizzling over everything. The ONE thing giving me crap is an eggplant...plant that I...planted last week. It's listless and sad no matter what I do. Too much sun? Too much water? Who knows. 

The squash, watermelon, corn, beans, brussel sprouts, dahlias and tomatoes are doing great. Here are a few garden pics, my shoe is for scale!

Watermelon-

 

Squash-

Brussel Sprouts-

Corn- 

(that will DEFINITELY be knee high by the 4th of July! It was touch and go but they're almost knee high right now!)

Cow Peas planted last week-

Soybeans planted on the same day last week-

Radishes planted last week-

My circle design in the middle of the garden is still just dirt. Only those little radishes have sprouted, everything else has a two week germination period. I'm waiting patiently for two patches of sunflowers I planted to sprout as well. I'm really looking forward to using them for cut flowers and snacking on sunflower seeds!

There are two apple and one pear tree in the front yard. I'd thought they were all apple but I got a closer look when I was on the tractor. I knew it wasn't apples when I got close but then I debated between fig or pear and after some research I realized it's pear! I love pears despite my jokes that they're not worth buying unless you can carry them around 24/7 since they're ripe for a whole minute before going bad!

Pear tree pic-

It's no wonder the deer love our property. It'll be interesting to see if a bunch come around when the apples and pears ripen. I saw a pack of deer running in a field next to the garden yesterday. I'm sure I can rig something to scare them off, cans tied to strings maybe. A baby fawn ran up to us the other day and when we moved it turned and raced away. No mother in sight and you'd better believe that within the 30 seconds it got close to us I envisioned raising it myself like the Yearling except it can have all the apples it wants and stay forever! Oh well.